While this episode makes no mention of cows or the lazy noises they make, the title is nevertheless indisputable, so don’t come to us with complaints of false advertising. Focus on getting your own houses in order, freaks!

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John & Pat get wistful about the concerts they’ve seen, the concerts they missed, and probably some random nonsense, as well. Who can remember in this economy?

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John & Pat look back across half a century only to determine it’s all basically the same crap, only more so now.

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John proves yet again he has his finger on the pulse of the nation by badmouthing “Yellowstone” and “Succession”, while Pat Pats it up in his usual jovial manner. Plus: Telecommunications be complicated!

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John and Pat attempt to finally answer the age-old question: is it better to feel sad or happy? The answer may shock and astound you!

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John and Pat celebrate a milestone by completely forgetting about it and not celebrating at all, thus fulfilling the final requirement in their ascension to Buddha Nature.

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Blah blah blah John and Pat blah blah blah pop culture blah blah blah idiots.

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John & Pat bring you more dispatches from the end times – now with 17% more stupidity!

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John & Pat have done it again – by which we mean they spent an entire episode talking about nonsense.

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